How can you look at the numbers all day long? – asked me one of my coworkers last Friday and explained that she had to do just that the whole morning.
I went on telling her that when stuff flies around on my screen, I don’t focus my eyes on any particular number – I would go both blind and crazy if I did.
She said – yes, and you have to really stay focused because if somebody interrupts you, it’s hard to remember where you've stopped.
'No kidding' – I thought. And said – 'that’s precisely why I keep my door shut every now and then, and I don’t want my print outs brought to me from our network printer either.'
She just nodded her head (yes, she is the one who regularly does it). I also added ‘when you saw me engrossed in my screen and said ‘stop thinking Larissa’ it took me good 30 minutes to get back on track.
All of the above is about boundaries. I feel so relieved that it finally dawned on her that my work is qualitatively different from the work she does and I do need to be left alone.
I am an introvert, yes.
But beyond that – I am working on a very big project. It’s creative work, and it is challenging, and I feel like I can fly when I do it. It’s my kind of work. So yes, some uninterrupted work time when I am at my best is a must. I need my several hours with my door shut.
It occurred to me only today that this has a lot to do with my happiness project. Doing my great work when I am at my best makes me happy.
I also realized that I have something going on in my personal life outside of work which makes me irritated and resentful. I can change that situation much easier than that at work. I am going to do it as soon as I am done with the project I am doing for one of my friends.
See, I have a highly developed skill which I used to make a living back in Russia. After ruble crushed I found myself working on projects every weekend when others enjoyed their time off. I actually love the type of work I was doing, but prefer not to do a particular variety of it – when I need to fix things someone else created. Which involved taking an object apart, adjusting parts of it, and putting it back together.
Back then I did not have much choice – income had to be made one way or another. But even then the volume of effort and lack of rest made it not worth my while at some point. I am in a very different place in life right now and I can say ‘not any more’ in no uncertain terms to things which I don't want in my life.
I really don’t want to do what I don’t like to do on my weekends. Period.
This too, has a lot to do with my happiness project.
I like me when I am happy.
I’d rather like people, not resent them.
So yes, I’v made a decision and I will act on it – I will establish and protect my boundaries, like my life depends on it – because it does. My happy life depends on my firm boundaries.
