Saturday, August 27, 2016

How Do You Empty Yourself Of You?

John 8:32 New International Version (NIV)
32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Those words most definitely also imply the truth about what's in your behavior is sinful, so you can obtain freedom from it. One ugly behavior pattern at a time...

If I asked anyone if they on Facebook or not, it would be an almost ridiculous question – who isn’t on Facebook nowadays?  This is to say, that if you are on Facebook, then you most definitely are familiar with all the fancy ways one can avoid seeing what other people are posting, or being found on Facebook at all for that matter.

Yes, I am talking about blocking people.


Facebook is not the only social network that provides this option, practically all of them do. How I know? Well, I was blocked everywhere I could be blocked – on English sites and Russian sites about a year ago by someone who did not want anything to do with me from that point forward.

That’s how I know.

Of course, there are other people who still can see what that person is posting, who are actually friends with me, and not just on Facebook, in real life too. The intentions are good when they share with me what they see on that person’s timeline (the one who has blocked me everywhere).

I am not opposed to it, and completely understand the sentiment. I have to admit though, that it is painful, but obviously, is necessary, as either some more healing needs to happen in my heart or God just wants me to see His glory once again. I am all for that – I enjoy that very much!

My son told me some time last fall ‘Stop concerning yourself with that person’s life’, but that was before I understood that person’s true motivation for being cruel, vicious and venomous with me, and I really tried to figure that out.

In addition, one of my reasons for seeking a relationship with that person back in spring 2014 was the fact that they are a very young Christian, and I was excited and curious to watch them grow in the knowledge and acceptance of God’s ways. I still am, actually interested in that, if I am honest with myself, painful as it is to be on the receiving end of ungodly behavior in the process (I am not saying that I always behave in God pleasing manner).

Well, God has provided me with a window into what’s going on with that person, ironically, about a month after I finally felt free from pain and emotional attachment to that person. I could not believe that happened a year to the day from the time that person had met their current spouse, but I was glad to see that help was being sought from God, rather than people, in circumstances which I knew would happen.
Yep, marital conflict, that’s what is happening to them. It happens to everyone, it is what each of us chooses to do with it, that’s what matters.

If you are curious, I can tell you that because I have an account with Bible Gateway app, so I get notifications from it about my friends’ activity on the app – well, those who befriended me there, that is. It is the only site that apparently does not have ‘un-friend’ and ‘block’ options (believe me, I tried to find them there) – no wonder though, as God, and His word (the Bible) are all about reconciliation, and not separation of people!!!

If you ever read the Bible, you would know, that at first as you read things like in the image at the top, the tendency is to apply it to someone else’s behavior, and not your own. Been there, done that. However, the more mature we are as followers of Christ, the clearer it is that we are the ones to whom this applies, not other people in our lives. (Yes, this is one of the images from email notifications I got from Bible Gateway app about what my friends do in the app).

Here’s where it becomes relevant to me.

On July 17 I listened to a sermon in my church titled ‘Let The Games Begin’ and later posted some screen shots of the video recording on FB.



It took about 3.5 weeks when the situation for me to act upon what I’ve heard in that sermon presented itself. My friend sent me a text and I decided to give ‘politically correct’ answer instead of saying it like it is (read ‘danced around the bush). She insisted I don’t do that. So I expressed myself clearly right away, but she decided to re-iterate what she said by paraphrasing it. And then again. The images below show the whole conversation.

The punch line is – what you see in the red frame is my knee jerk reaction in similar situations no matter who I talk to. Like my former friend said once – I am the common denominator in those type of situations.

Clearly, this is my hang up. Clearly, that is something other people do, that irritates me, and it is a cue of what needs to change in me. 

I know that the only thing that I control is my response to someone else’s behavior; I don’t have control over other people’s behavior. No one does. They try to manipulate, but it’s all it is – manipulation, not treating others with patience and kindness.

And that is how what I’ve heard in the sermon translates into a change in me. 

I am the one who needs to deal with ‘little girl Larissa’ issues and simply catch myself from reacting in the way I’ve learned about 40 years ago when I first realized, that I am definitely not stupid (to put it mildly).

So the verse from Proverbs 12:16 in the image at the top is definitely about that kind of self-awareness:

We ARE all in control of OUR feelings and actions, and it is foolish to not exercise that God given control.

Once again this morning, when I saw this image arrive into my inbox, I was in awe of God’s glory and how creative He is in delivering ‘get rid of that junk, Larissa’ messages to me. No doubt, there is hope for all of us, if we just listen to God’s messages intensely enough and then simply obey them.