What Exactly Did Adam Do Wrong?

Last Saturday I went to pick up a couple of books from Barnes & Noble.

Did you ever have the experience, when teaching someone something they have never done before, you say things like ‘keep the main thing the main thing’ or ‘take care of big rocks first’ or ‘work off your calendar, not your email’ and it takes you back to those times when you were in training yourself and learned, sometimes the hard way, to be efficient? I have a feeling you know what I mean by that.

So, the book store visit was about picking up 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I have never  read it, but went through training 7 Habits for Managers some 4 years ago or so.

It’s about time I actually have the original book and read it, I thought, so off to the book store I went.

On the way there I remembered that I also need For Women Only for my friend because this particular book by Shaunti Feldhahn never stays on my bookshelf  for too long – I keep giving it away.

So I found it on BN website and took a screen shot of it for a BN associate to help me locate it in the store. That was a smart move because the associate actually went and got them for me, that's why including the long line to pay for the books, all I had to spend in the store was 10 minutes at the most.

I got both of my books and back home I went.

It was For Women Only, that reminded me (without even opening it) that all those things Shaunti is writing about, in every man’s mind are unique to him and him only. Every man thinks that he is the only one who struggles with those things, and thinks those thoughts.

That’s where I got the idea, that a person very dear to my heart might think that irresponsibility issue is unique to him only.

I had an aha moment about male irresponsibility issue earlier that day, and before taking my dear person to the passage of scripture which I hoped would clarify things in his own life for him, I decided to ask him if indeed I understood correctly the vicious cycle he has been stuck in for the last 7 years.

Yep, I was correct about the merry-go-round, and proceeded to read Genesis 3:1-12 to him.

Genesis 3New International Version (NIV)The Fall3 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God,knowing good and evil.”6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

The irresponsibility issue started back then and not with my dear person at all. Verse 12 says it all (my interpretation): this woman, (who, by the way, you have given me) gave me the fruit to eat, and I just went with the flow and ate it, without giving it any thought whatsoever.

As I finished reading the scripture and said that it surely looks to me like a refusal to take any responsibility at all, I said:

'see, it is not just you, every man has this struggle in his life to some extent. This struggle is there since back then (Genesis 3 that is). 

As he listened to me telling him, that I know for sure that he knows what the right thing is, and that he is supposed to do it, he looked at me and said ‘but there is no motivation to do it, and I don’t know why’.

The answer I gave him was very simple:

‘Because it requires making an effort rather than going with the flow. Going with the flow is easy, it’s being irresponsible, that’s the base level from which all man’s problems stem. Once you make an effort to do the right thing, your body will produce endorphin and you will feel good. Isn’t that the purpose?’ 

I am amazed at how God led me from one thing to another that day to bring me to the revelation of what exactly Adam’s sin was and how it affects all men, including my dear person who I love so much.

21-Day No-Complaint Challenge

A big part of this past year was about learning. I was reading books from my book shelf, and not only those books, and learning.

Today my pastor told a story which might ring true for you as well. Regardless of your faith affiliation (or absence of such), you will recognize the pattern, as I am sure you have seen plenty of it in your life.

So, here’s the story:

It is a good practice to have a prayer team gather together in a church building on regular basis and pray together for the needs of the people in the church and for everyone who is involved in the ministry. 

But when they call for a prayer meeting, 3 people show up. Why so? People say ‘we really don’t know how to pray’. Offering a class on how to pray seems to be a great idea. So the pastor starts a class, 25 people show up and actually faithfully finish the class. 

What’s interesting though, when a prayer meeting is called again, only 3 people out of 25 show up for it. 

Wait a minute, wasn’t the point of the class to teach people how to pray so when it’s time for a prayer meeting, there is actually a prayer team, educated and ready for action? Yes, of course! 

But more people want to learn something and very few want to actually act upon that knowledge.

My pastor went on to read the scripture from the Bible which talks about living in accordance to what we have learned so far. It is not easy, is it? Nope, but it’s worth the effort.

I am telling the whole story here because it directly relates to reading the books on my shelf and then implementing what I learn in my daily life.

I will take you all the way back to September 2014 when I posted here last time before I came back today, and back track everything that happened in my life since then in the posts that will follow.

For right now, I will write about what’s on my heart now that I’ve started reading ‘What’s It Like To Be Married To Me?’ just the day before yesterday.



I just finished Chapter 2 and something really grabbed my attention. I knew for quite some time that the complaining of the Jewish people kept them in the desert for 40 years. But what I read today made me look in the mirror and actually do something to make changes in my life, in me.

Linda Dillow, the author of this book gave her dialog with God about griping, grumbling and whining. Of any kind.

Here’s what I learned from it: God considers grumbling as sinful as immorality. He says it’s as bad as adultery.

What we usually do is go tell people what we dislike so much. Those people cannot do anything about what we dislike. But we go and bring our complaints to them. Not to God, who actually CAN do a lot about it.

I loved this quote by C. H. Spurgeon Linda included in this chapter:

We do not show our trouble to the Lord that He may see it, but that we may see Him. It is for our relief and not for His information, that we make plain statements concerning our troubles. It does us much good to list our sorrows.

She offered a challenge which I have accepted with enthusiasm: 21-Day No-Complaint Challenge.

The whole book is about building a healthy marriage relationship. I am not married. But I can easily apply what I learn from this book to my other relationships. I see it as a great opportunity for practice: if I am to marry for a fourth time, then I have been working on myself, I do not want to waste time now.

So, here are the steps to take:

1. I go to God alone and pour out my complaints.
2. I make a secret choice to accept the other person.
3. I move from ‘Change THEM, Lord’ to ‘Change ME Lord’.
4. I wear my ‘Gripes Be Gone’ bracelet.

About the last point – part of the challenge is to switch my bracelet from one wrist to the other every time I gripe instead of talking to God about it.

My friend gave me this bracelet some time ago. This is what I choose to wear, not a rubber one, but this gift from a person who loves me and accepts me.

Want to join me in the challenge?