How Do YOU Want To Be Treated?

Luke 6:31 New International Version (NIV)

³¹ Do to others as you would have them do to you.

This week I find myself on the other side of the valley of death. That same valley in which our God is definitely with us. If we believe what’s written in His word that is. Looking back I can confidently say, it is true, I can see His hand all over the events of my last 13 months which have been extremely stressful.

It all started on the day which was one of the happiest days of my life, as I found out on that day that my daughter’s life will be exactly what she worked hard for since age 6. Even good stress is still stress, by definition, but that day ended with a bad altercation and deep disappointment when I hit my head on pure selfishness of a person who was very close to me.

We sorted it out the day later (or so it seemed) and life went on, communication was pleasant, although being on the opposite sides of extrovert-introvert spectrum, people are bound to overwhelm one another.

A couple of months passed by and then an unexpected and ugly breakup happened. I don’t think I was ever shut down quite like that in my life ever before, not in my adult life, for sure.

Uncertainty of how company restructuring will pan out for me was added to that stress, and lasted a good while. It all depends on a perspective though, because in the big scheme of things 10 weeks is a very short period of time. But not while you are waiting for answers, NOPE.

Well, I got exactly the answers I wanted regarding situation at work, which is a good kind of stress, of course. And transition from one role to another with simultaneous training of my replacement happened. Like in ‘I was training my replacement by day and doing my work by night’.

I don’t think I was ever as tired by the end of my transition, 10 more weeks later. Not even when I was much younger raising my two children completely and utterly alone, working my job by day and doing gigs by night. Those were the times when my friend had to hold me by hand and walk me across the street, because letting me do it by myself was dangerous – that’s how tired and disoriented I was.

But this time, 23 years later I was in much worse shape. In addition to physical exhaustion I could not let the memories of the break up go, as much as I wanted to, because as I realize now, I simply needed to understand why it was so cruel, vicious and venomous. What was it in my behavior in that relationship that warranted it? I certainly did not see the reason. My peace was not complete without much needed clarity in this matter.

Needless to say, I was really looking forward to this season of my life to end, hopefully by the end of 12 months. Amazingly, God came through and showed me, that I was simply a constant reminder of guilt the other person had in their life. That’s it, simply saying the truth caused me so much pain. But that is alright, because I know that I am supposed to do what God wants me to do in every situation. In the case of that relationship He just wanted me to be His messenger with a message of truth. God is awesome!

Now that I understood the reasons for someone else’s behavior, I needed to figure out why I took yet another chance to tell the truth – in particular, to warn another person, that they were about to move into a very emotionally charged relationship, with practically a guarantee that they will be on the receiving end of that same fury and viciousness as soon as their opinions differ, because unresolved guilt always causes misplaced anger.

It took me some time last Monday afternoon, but the answer is absolutely crystal clear for me: if I were about to get myself into a dangerous relationship, most definitely I would want someone, preferably a person who has credibility with me, who knows my partner well, like a family member or a very close friend, to give me a very graphic picture of how that relationship would look like for me, because my partner treats all people like that, including those he/she loves dearly.

Hence the title for this post – I would want to be treated like that – I would want to hear honest truth, I would want someone to care enough about me, to warn me that I am about to step off the cliff.

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

So I did – I want people to tell me the truth, and I will start first – I will tell the truth even if it is a very painful one. Now they can make an educated decision to step off that cliff or not, now they do have choice, because they have been informed that the choice is available.