Want to guess what my new Russian friend’s name is?

On the first night at Cadaques Caribe I took my book and went to find a place to read. It’s a habit of mine to do reading and reflection while on vacation at the beach.

So, I went toward the beach in the dusk and realized, that the deck under the hut which has stairs leading into the water actually had lights on – so I could read a regular paperback!

In addition to that there were a number of blue lights shining into the water. The fish congregate to the light and of course, people feed them. That’s quite a show to watch them.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of waves and the ocean view from my bed.

As much as I love beach vacations, I must tell you that I struggled all the way through 9 days that I spent in Bayahibe, Dom Republic.

Stress of the previous month and especially the night before the trip knocked me off balance emotionally to the extent that I actually bounced between not wanting to be there and realizing that being at home was pointless on one hand and impossible to manage on the other, as I gave my car to my son for the next 10 days, and he was expected to come back home one day after my return from vacation.

Back to the things I enjoy about beach vacation so much.

That view that I saw from my bed was definitely calling my name, so off I went. The narrow ‘streets’ and the warm air were so welcoming!

When I was already on the deck, wind took my hat off and threw it on the steps leading to the water. A security guard, who was right there caught it for me.

That security guard was extremely kind to me the whole time of my vacation. From my conversations with him I realized, that that’s simply who he is – a kind person who treats every guest the same. With hospitality and kindness.

He has my cat’s picture for the wall picture on his phone now. This is just a sweet and funny tidbit of my first Dom republic trip 😊

One more unexpected and pleasant thing happened on day one.

I am very used to meeting Russian people everywhere I go on vacation.

This time was no exception.

I heard a child’s voices saying in Russian ‘wow – look at that’. The little boy was snorkeling right in front of what appeared to be rows of rocks in the water. I saw those dark spots in the water on the pictures of thestudio and the location on booking.com, but did not realize that it was not sea weeds, but rocks.

When I actually was close to those ‘rocks’ in the water, I realized that they are man-made concrete structures to allow reef to grow and give fish place to live. That’s when I really regretted not taking my snorkeling gear with me.

Later I put my iPhone into a waterproof plastic pouch that I did take with me from home and fish have not disappointed me – they gathered around me and I have this video to remember that daily show.

I greeted the little boy’s mom in Russian and asked her name. She is my third Russian friend with the same name – Olga.

I must say, that usually I don’t make any friends while on vacation. It’s not like don’t communicate to people at all, but I think that everyone comes to their vacations with their own ideas of how and with whom they will spend their time there, and making friends is simply not what people have in mind.

But this time I did make friends with Olga. It started with small talk, but pretty quickly we were talking about our families and how to parent boys – Olga has two sons, so she has plenty of experience to share.

She did give me some good advice and introduced me to two Russian couples who used the same tour agency for their Dom Republic vacation. Those people were also very welcoming and accepting of me and a friend I made on day two.

But this is a story for next time.

Stay tuned!

… To be continued.

*oh, if you go to Amazon from this blog post and purchase something, I will get commission ;-)

How one gets to their Dominican Republic Vacation

I was really excited to book this vacation.

I tried to go to Dom republic in September 2017, but two back to back hurricanes stopped me from going there. As a matter of fact, the second one arrived to Dom republic on the day of my scheduled arrival.

Needless to say, I did not go there then, but ended up in Cancun and ‘suffered’ through it. 

It was a good experience overall and an excellent opportunity to have an end of vacation season trip to Caribbean, but stormy sea and not getting it my way took away from the experience. 

Not to mention, lack of knowledge of Spanish made me feel ignorant and awkward the whole week.

This time I was determined, so without waiting till hurricane season, I decided to go at the beginning of vacation season – starts with Memorial Day here in the US.

I talked about it to my hairdresser and she said multiple times, that if I were to go to Dom republic, it had to be on the Caribbean side, not Atlantic side.

I actually listened!

It took some digging around vacation rentals sites but I did find a great deal for a studio right on the beach on this vacation booking site. You can scroll down to see the pictures now, or just keep reading.

Can you tell that I was excited to have that vacation when I booked it in mid-March 2018?

Well, a lot happened between mid-March and the day of the trip.

I spent the whole month before the trip struggling with conflicting emotions about a sad event in my family.

From disappointment to anger (at myself), from lots of unknowns to resolve to trust God, from being upset with somebody else’s choices to understanding that my behavior needs to change too so I can become a part of solution instead of being part of the problem.

Then the night before the trip came around and my worst suspicions were not just confirmed, situation was actually much more severe and better at the same time – given that between the worst part and suspicions and my knowledge about it a whole month of hard internal work took place.

For that I am grateful. Big time.

My God never disappoints, that much I can openly and boldly say.

My flight to Punta Cana was uneventful. Coming from Atlanta any airport seems small, Punta Cana one was not an exception.

I read on Southwest Airlines website before the flight that all tourists from the US are supposed to purchase a tourist card upon arrival for a 30 day stay - $10. I was determined to do just that.

I am sure there is a competition between taxi drivers who gets passengers – people have to make a living one way or another, so I found myself being walked toward a vehicle, negotiating the price of the ride – it takes an hour to get to Bayahibe where my studio was, and on my way even before I had a chance to find where tourist cards were sold.

About 15 minutes into the drive I remembered about the tourist card. It took some persuasion but I got my driver to go back to the airport to get the card.

No one – not my driver, not his manager, not people who worked tour kiosk – I mean no one had any idea what I was talking about. Finally my driver after a short conversation with his manager took me to Southwest Airlines local office.

In the office I got my confirmation that I did not need a tourist card to be in Dom republic legally – the rules had been changed about a month before my arrival.

Considering what was going on in my life the whole month before the trip and the night before the trip, my emotions were pushed to the limit, and yes, I did cry when I had to make my driver turn around and go back to the airport, and on and off until I arrived to my vacation place early enough to enjoy two good hours of swimming.

... To be continued.

Oh, pictures of the pier with chairs and first morning view from my balcony are below. Enjoy!

How Do You Empty Yourself Of You?

John 8:32 New International Version (NIV)
32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Those words most definitely also imply the truth about what's in your behavior is sinful, so you can obtain freedom from it. One ugly behavior pattern at a time...

If I asked anyone if they on Facebook or not, it would be an almost ridiculous question – who isn’t on Facebook nowadays?  This is to say, that if you are on Facebook, then you most definitely are familiar with all the fancy ways one can avoid seeing what other people are posting, or being found on Facebook at all for that matter.

Yes, I am talking about blocking people.

Facebook is not the only social network that provides this option, practically all of them do. How I know? Well, I was blocked everywhere I could be blocked – on English sites and Russian sites about a year ago by someone who did not want anything to do with me from that point forward.

That’s how I know.

Of course, there are other people who still can see what that person is posting, who are actually friends with me, and not just on Facebook, in real life too. The intentions are good when they share with me what they see on that person’s timeline (the one who has blocked me everywhere).

I am not opposed to it, and completely understand the sentiment. I have to admit though, that it is painful, but obviously, is necessary, as either some more healing needs to happen in my heart or God just wants me to see His glory once again. I am all for that – I enjoy that very much!

My son told me some time last fall ‘Stop concerning yourself with that person’s life’, but that was before I understood that person’s true motivation for being cruel, vicious and venomous with me, and I really tried to figure that out.

In addition, one of my reasons for seeking a relationship with that person back in spring 2014 was the fact that they are a very young Christian, and I was excited and curious to watch them grow in the knowledge and acceptance of God’s ways. I still am, actually interested in that, if I am honest with myself, painful as it is to be on the receiving end of ungodly behavior in the process (I am not saying that I always behave in God pleasing manner).

Well, God has provided me with a window into what’s going on with that person, ironically, about a month after I finally felt free from pain and emotional attachment to that person. I could not believe that happened a year to the day from the time that person had met their current spouse, but I was glad to see that help was being sought from God, rather than people, in circumstances which I knew would happen.
Yep, marital conflict, that’s what is happening to them. It happens to everyone, it is what each of us chooses to do with it, that’s what matters.

If you are curious, I can tell you that because I have an account with Bible Gateway app, so I get notifications from it about my friends’ activity on the app – well, those who befriended me there, that is. It is the only site that apparently does not have ‘un-friend’ and ‘block’ options (believe me, I tried to find them there) – no wonder though, as God, and His word (the Bible) are all about reconciliation, and not separation of people!!!

If you ever read the Bible, you would know, that at first as you read things like in the image at the top, the tendency is to apply it to someone else’s behavior, and not your own. Been there, done that. However, the more mature we are as followers of Christ, the clearer it is that we are the ones to whom this applies, not other people in our lives. (Yes, this is one of the images from email notifications I got from Bible Gateway app about what my friends do in the app).

Here’s where it becomes relevant to me.

On July 17 I listened to a sermon in my church titled ‘Let The Games Begin’ and later posted some screen shots of the video recording on FB.

It took about 3.5 weeks when the situation for me to act upon what I’ve heard in that sermon presented itself. My friend sent me a text and I decided to give ‘politically correct’ answer instead of saying it like it is (read ‘danced around the bush). She insisted I don’t do that. So I expressed myself clearly right away, but she decided to re-iterate what she said by paraphrasing it. And then again. The images below show the whole conversation.

The punch line is – what you see in the red frame is my knee jerk reaction in similar situations no matter who I talk to. Like my former friend said once – I am the common denominator in those type of situations.

Clearly, this is my hang up. Clearly, that is something other people do, that irritates me, and it is a cue of what needs to change in me. 

I know that the only thing that I control is my response to someone else’s behavior; I don’t have control over other people’s behavior. No one does. They try to manipulate, but it’s all it is – manipulation, not treating others with patience and kindness.

And that is how what I’ve heard in the sermon translates into a change in me. 

I am the one who needs to deal with ‘little girl Larissa’ issues and simply catch myself from reacting in the way I’ve learned about 40 years ago when I first realized, that I am definitely not stupid (to put it mildly).

So the verse from Proverbs 12:16 in the image at the top is definitely about that kind of self-awareness:

We ARE all in control of OUR feelings and actions, and it is foolish to not exercise that God given control.

Once again this morning, when I saw this image arrive into my inbox, I was in awe of God’s glory and how creative He is in delivering ‘get rid of that junk, Larissa’ messages to me. No doubt, there is hope for all of us, if we just listen to God’s messages intensely enough and then simply obey them.